Tag: Dr Paul Hokemeyer

  • Exclusive: Taylor Swift and the Kindness Revolution

     

    Christopher Jackson

     

    The New Yorker once wrote that Taylor Swift has ‘the pretty, but not aggressively sexy, look of a nineteen-thirties movie siren’. But perhaps most notable is how it has changed over the years: to look at her is to try to gauge what the white skin and essentially kind eyes really do look like when set against all the confusions created by her ubiquity.

    To look at her – even on the TV screen – is to look at fame on a scale which is very rarely attained. This is the perennial camouflage of celebrity – all that we think we know about her has come to us second-hand, and it’s misleading because a person is not an aggregation of what has been said about her. A person is an accumulation of raw experience: the camera cannot capture that – it keeps removing us from the lived actual.

    On the other hand, Taylor Swift’s success is partly due her ability to communicate through contemporary media. She has become so well-known really due to the authenticity of joy – or at least the authentic search for it. “Happiness isn’t a constant,” she has said. “You get fleeting glimpses. You have to fight for those moments, but they make it all worth it.” The impression one has of Swift is of someone increasingly adept at that search – precisely because she knows that it isn’t only to do with what one attains for oneself but what one can return back into the world.

    Swift seems to me to represent some new need – or rather a new way in which an old need has been answered when no other public figure, and especially not our politicians, are able to answer it. At her core is a commitment to kindness, and this, through her songs – but at least as importantly by her deeds – has become catching.

    It has created a movement around what some clever people might deride as a cliché. Of course, she swears (“Fuck it, if I can’t have him” she sings on ‘Down Bad’ on her latest album), and issues the occasional diss track – but really her generosity as a performer, as a famous person and as a philanthropist us the leitmotif which runs through all she does.

    This anchors her. How many people are actually good at being famous in the way that Taylor Swift is good at it? Very few can accept it with any degree of balance and humility – and it is vanishingly rare to find a sane identity. It was Marilynne Robinson who observed of her friend Barack Obama – one of the few people, along with the tennis-player Roger Federer to seem as comfortable with fame as Swift is – that he showed ‘tremendous alertness as to what the moment may require of him.”

    As one watches Swift on her Eras Tour, one senses something similar in play – a hypersensitivity to what her audience needs from her, and a willingness and an ability to supply it. It is a question of an optimistic and accommodating attitude on a scale hard to imagine. “My fans don’t feel like I hold anything back from them. They know whatever I’m going through now, they’ll hear about it on a record someday,” she has explained, but it is more than that – she has embarked on a life which is more relentlessly public than anyone I can think of. Her life is the community she has created through her music.

    Consider this quote, in which she shares her experience with her fans: “When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.”

    This is a beautifully articulated observation about the distance between fairytale and life, and I think there’s no doubt why she’s making it: it’s because she doesn’t want others to suffer. She cares.

    2TE0DBA File – Taylor Swift performs during “The Eras Tour,” Monday, Aug. 7, 2023, at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles. Megastar Swift dominated popular culture in 2023, going on the first-ever $1 billion tour and getting named Time magazine’s Person of the Year. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello, File)

     

    Her work can be seen as a working through of this difficulty – even its dramatization. We enter a world which feels at first insufficiently signed, and we must learn to discover what things are like: art is a way of coming into knowledge about this. Taylor Swift’s songs are about this journey, and she has described with a mining obsession. She is one of those writers who isn’t content to skim her topic; she delves.

    Even so her fame has made it difficult to discern what drives her as a songwriter. The course convener for the Taylor Swift course at Basel University Dr Andrew Shields says in our Question of Degree in this issue that many people misunderstand the essential genesis of Swift’s work: ”When I stumbled on ‘Blank Space’, I came to understand that she was writing fiction. Even in songs where you think she may have just sat down and versified her biography, even there, there’s still fictionalisation,” he explains.

    Shields argues that we have difficulty in placing Swift, since she comes out of the country milieu but has crossed over into pop. Shields compares her to Adele: “Around the time, I first got into Taylor Swift, I also bought my daughters the albums 21 and 25 by Adele. I took them to the gym and everything about those albums is about excellence. The voice is excellent. The framing of the voice in the mix is superb. Her articulation in the mix is superb. Her articulation is fantastic. She also writes harmonically and melodically richer stuff than Swift does.”

    I feel a ‘but’ coming and indeed it does come. “But the lyrics sound like they’re just scribbled down stuff. Adele is working in studios with some of the best people in the world, and that is what makes her successful along with her incredible voice, but apparently they don’t need to have decent lyrics. ‘Hello’, for example, is an incoherent text.”

    This, says Shields, is what makes Swift so special: “Swift tells stories: she has characters, and she has wit.” For Shields, Folklore, which landed at the start of the pandemic, is the breakthrough album. “Until that album, I’d find listening to more than an album’s worth at a time a little too much, but there’s more room in Folklore.”

     

    E9P0A8 New York, USA. 30th Oct, 2014. Taylor Swift performs in New York City’s Times Square for ” Good Morning America” concert series © Bruce Cotler/Globe Photos/ZUMA Wire/Alamy Live News

    Like Dylan’s ‘Murder Most Foul’, Folklore arrived to console us at a time none of us shall forget: it is part of that historical moment.

    When one sees Paul McCartney at the Eras tour, we are reminded that he likely wouldn’t be there if he didn’t think the performer on stage were a songwriter: and of all people he should know. McCartney’s attendance was especially interesting since he is one of the few people alive today who know what this kind of fame is like.

    As Swift swung through London, emitting minor earthquakes at the biggest venues in the country, her physical presence in one’s general vicinity wasn’t something possible to ignore even if one were inclined to do so.

    The evidence is that Swift is capable of getting to more or less anybody capable of being got to. One is Angelina Giovani, who describes for me the scenes in London at Wembley Stadium. What was it that turned her into a Swiftie? “I am not on original, die hard Swiftie, to be honest,” she replies, though her eyes are shining slightly at the mention of Swift’s name. “I first started paying attention to her when she started re-recording her old albums so she could own them. I thought that was very brave and very smart.

    But what really brought her into my radar was the Eras tour. I remember last year, early in the tour it rained through many of the early performances, and she carried on singing her entire track list completely unbothered by it. She did the same in the Brazil, where the heat was insufferable and she managed to keep performing, while visibly struggling with her breathing between songs. I was very impressed by the endurance and commitment.”

    This is something which one can easily miss: her professionalism, which is such a fait accompli now that one can easily underestimate the effort which went into its acquisition. Up there onstage during the Eras tour, one can see, behind the theatre of it all, the sheer extent of her determination: a work ethic which again is hard to think of having been matched in pop since McCartney.

    We see in the marvellous Peter Jackson film Get Back how for every song that each of the other band members were writing, McCartney was writing ten and it ended up being too much for the rest of the band to cope with. Swift is a little like this, issuing earlier this year not the expected album, but a double album in the shape of The Tortured Poets Department: the impression is of hyperactivity, and an energy going in all directions – into her music videos, and indeed into her every move. She is an advert for superior planning – and for doing things for the right reason.

     

    C672PF Taylor Swift on stage for NBC TODAY Show Concert Series with Taylor Swift, Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY October 26, 2010. Photo By: Rob Kim/Everett Collection

     

    But predominantly, nowadays it is going into her Eras show, which treats each of her albums as an epoch to be explored and re-enacted. It was the late great Tony Bennett who said in relation to Amy Winehouse that no jazz singer likes to see 90,000 people staring back at her. Swift doesn’t seem to mind that at all.

    The author of the best book about Swift is The Secret Critic who speaks to me over email in order to retain his or her anonymity. His book Taylor Swift: The Anatomy of Fame is like no other: a tour de force of literary criticism, which addresses the Swift phenomenon in highly original terms.

    The author tells me: “Swift can’t sing like Winehouse – which is no shame, as she was a one-off – but the quote is a reminder that large stadiums are a problem to be solved. The only person really to solve it before Swift was Freddie Mercury – and I occasionally see Swift deploying gestures at the piano which remind me a little of him, tipping her whole body back theatrically. Mercury knew that these arena require exaggerated gestures – and Swift knows this too.”

    For the Secret Critic, it is also a question of intimacy: “Mercury also understood that the only way to make the space smaller is to connect intimately with the people in it as he did with his famous ‘Day-dos!” So how does Swift do it? “What’s unique is that she does it through respect, humility, and an earned familiarity.

    She couldn’t play these venues if she’d ever put a foot wrong in displaying respect towards her audience; the act simply wouldn’t work if she had ever done that. It is this peculiar bond between her and her audience which enables her to handle these enormous audiences. There has never been anything like this – by comparison, Mercury looks remote from his audience. There was no Queen community in quite the same way that there’s a Swift community.”

    For me, the Eras show works partly due to its choreography where Swift accepts a central role while also sharing it with others. Again, in compiling the show she is able to borrow from her own hard work in her music videos, which she has always controlled. Some of these are now on display in the V & A Museum. Kate Bailey, Senior Curator, Theatre & Performance, says: “We are delighted to be able to display a range of iconic looks worn by Taylor Swift at the V&A this summer. Each celebrating a chapter in the artist’s musical journey.”

     

    2T41TF4 OCTOBER 27th 2023: Taylor Swift is officially a billionaire according to multiple published reports which now estimate her net worth at roughly $1.1 billion. – File Photo by: zz/Patricia Schlein/STAR MAX/IPx 2019 8/26/19 Taylor Swift at the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards held on August 26, 2019 at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey, USA.

     

    And what is the idea behind the show? “Taylor Swift’s songs like objects tell stories, often drawing from art, history and literature. We hope this theatrical trail across the museum will inspire curious visitors to discover more about the performer, her creativity and V&A objects.”

    These outfits, above all, always make one think, for the simple reason that there is never any doubt that a considerable amount of thought has gone into their creation. It is all of a piece with someone who won’t leave anything to chance. The looks that she has produced each speak to a particular mood; her albums represent self-contained aesthetics, which is part of what makes the Eras tour viable at all. Here is Swift, gloriously rainbow-coloured during her Lover era, cabin chic during Folklore, and suitably red during the Red era.

    Angelina Giovani explains that even making her way to the concert was an eye-opening experience: “On my way to the concert I saw how most houses on Wembley Hill had put out signs, renting out their driveways to concert goers so they could park. They were all full, going at about £20 for the afternoon.

    Swift is playing at Wembley Stadium eight times this summer, during which the average family will make £160 per parking spot. It is not ground-breaking, but it is not nothing. Her fans travel around in thousands to see the concert, they eat, drink and sleep locally and as far as fans go – they’re not football fans. Their most threatening weapon is glitter, so they are made very welcome.”

    She is also eloquent about the greatness of Swift as a live performer: “The concert was electric. I have been to many concerts before, primarily rock bands, but this was quite special. I had never seen such a mix of young and old before at Wembley. The youngest concert goer was no more than five years old and the oldest, in their eighties. I found it very heart-warming to find a common source of joy across generations.

    There were 84,449 people on her first day at Wembley, and throughout the 46 song track list that she sings she never sang alone. The people who had purchased seated tickets, did not sit down.” Giovanni brilliantly captures the uniquenesss of live concerts: “There’s something about concerts that makes everyone think they can sing, which is endearing. At times it was hard to distinguish Swift’s voice from the crowd. But you can see her relishing in it. She is so tuned it and plugged into the audience. She kept spotting people who needed help in the standing crowd and pointing them out to the first aid crew.”

    This is an important point. If one looks at Swift’s predecessors in the 60s, whether it be The Beatles or The Rolling Stones, they had become famous in order to put distance between themselves and others; Bob Dylan, meanwhile, has sometimes shown a kind of lofty contempt for his audience.

    The examples of Swift’s good nature are too numerous to have been faked and it is this which causes such widespread happiness: we haven’t been watching a musical phenomenon sweeping through the country so much as a sort of spiritual force. Swift has given huge amounts to charity – and not done it any showy or self-aggrandising way. We can find the friendship bracelets which are handed out at her concerts kitsch if we want, but the moment we think friendship itself is kitsch, we have become cynical, and the joke may have rebounded on us.

    Dr Paul Hokemeyer, an extremely successful psychologist, agrees: ”One of the things I find most valuable about Taylor Swift’s uber celebrity is how it transcends the veneer of social media celebrities such as the Kardashians and rejects the meanness of the Real Housewife franchises. In contrast to these other celebrity phenomena, Taylor Swift sends a message of kindness, inclusion, respect and hope. Her music is uplifting. It celebrates the vulnerability inherent in being human and creates connections through communities of joy and the celebration of love and life.”

     

    C672YY Taylor Swift on stage for NBC TODAY Show Concert Series with Taylor Swift, Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY October 26, 2010. Photo By: Kristin Callahan/Everett Collection

    This is well-put. As we look at the world of politics at time of writing, the UK for all its problems seems a sort of curious bright spot. We find an unhappy American election where some think a new civil war may be imminent; in France things seem even worse – and, of course, the Russia-Ukraine and Middle East conflicts continue, as do threats to our Western way of life from China, North Korea and Iran. The opportunities for despair appear to be legion.

    But Taylor Swift, whether one likes her music or not, is against all that, says Hokemeyer. “As a mental health professional, I find the hunger for such messages indicative of the pernicious impact our current culture of ideological division, violence, patriarchy and ecological destruction is having on the younger generations of humans. They are looking, like Harry Harlow’s monkeys, for love, nurturance, benevolent leadership and comfort in their lives.

    When Taylor takes the stage, or is heard over earbuds on the tube, she touches her fans on a deeply emotional level. She models power through vulnerability rather than malignant narcissism. She speaks to her tribe in a way that nourishes their hearts, minds and bodies. She makes them feel important, seen, understood and, most of all, valued in ways that our political, religious, corporate and even family leaders have failed them.”

    Giovanni agrees: “You can love or hate Taylor Swift, it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Her music is not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fair enough. But in the past year, Taylor Swift has done more to help with hunger than governments. Measurably so. In every city she plays, she donates to food banks enough money to keep them running for a whole year. Many roll their eyes, it’s all for show, it’s all to paint a certain picture. But does that matter? Not to the people who are getting regular, hot meals.”

    In other words, Swift is now in effect beyond her art – she exists in a realm of willy-nilly cultural significance, exactly as the Beatles did. It was a futile thing to announce that one didn’t much like Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band in the 1966, the year of its release. It was what was happening then; it was how the world was. Years, later Sir Martin Amis would write in his 1973 novel The Rachel Papers that: ‘To be against the Beatles is against life.” It is the same with Swift today: she is, whether one likes it or not, part of the life force.

    But how exactly has this force come about and what does it say about us? Just as in old footage one sees young girls in a sort of delighted panic at the sight of the Beatles performing ‘She Loves You’, today we see their progeny experiencing similar emotions with Taylor Swift. This is interesting because in the case of The Beatles one assumed that sex might have had something to do with the extent of the obsession; but that doesn’t seem to be the case when it comes to Swift.

    2BP33RG NEW YORK, NY, USA – MAY 29, 2009: Taylor Swift Performs on NBC’s “Today” Show Concert Series at Rockefeller Plaza.

    So what’s going on here? Hokemeyer tells me: “For time eternal, humans have engaged in celebrity worship and oriented themselves in tribal hierarchies. In the realm of psychology, such patterns of being are known as archetypal. They are accepted as part of the universal human experience and involve behaviours that reoccur consistently over millennia and across cultures.”

    In other words, what we are seeing is only the latest manifestation of a tendency as ancient as the hills. Hokemeyer continues: “But while this overall pattern of being remains constant, over time, the objects of our celebrity worship change to reflect the contemporary zeitgeist. In ancient Greece, humans worshiped celebrities such as Aristotle and Socrates. These men provided clarity and comfort in a dangerous and chaotic world through logic, reason and intelligence. Fast forward to modern times when today’s celebrities are human beings who have attained elevated levels of financial success and captured the world’s attention by features of their beings: their talent, their power, their beauty, their wealth.”

    So we’ve gone away from celebrating intellect towards worshipping money? It isn’t quite as simple as that, says Hokemeyer: “Today’s celebrities such as Taylor Swift, garner and hold society’s projections of superiority over the banality of human existence while providing transcendental experiences to people longing for connection, joy, comfort. She, through her music and charisma, provides a momentary reprieve from what remains a dangerous and chaotic world while allowing us to organize ourselves like honeybees, under a superior other and in colonies of shared purpose and identity.”

    What is remarkable about this is just how universal it appears to be. “What is most interesting about Taylor Swift is how she’s been able to garner uber celebrity amongst a geographically, racially, economically and culturally diverse group of people,” Hokemeyer continues. “In contrast to celebrities of the past whose celebrity has been more limited, Taylor has been able to utilize the power of the internet to unite a humanity suffering from an acute state of division, disconnection, violence and environmental degradation by making her fans feel seen, valued and understood through her music, charisma and the community she’s created.”

    When I put all this over email to the Secret Critic, the mystery author agrees but also has more to say: “I would argue that Swift, though she seems to have arrived out of the milieu of pop, and even of American Idol and so on, in fact has more in common with the Sixties songwriters than we sometimes think, and far more than her detractors realise. She isn’t only a live concert experience; there’s a genuine listening experience to be had as well.”

    Like Shields, The Secret Critic points to Folklore as a period when her songwriting went to a new level where, notwithstanding some dissent over her new album, it has largely stayed. “From Folklore onwards, you’ll find more complex language – a deeper commitment to character. In my book I have an analysis of the Betty trilogy on Folklore and there are some remarkably telling details and some very clever touches in terms of character: she can do the male character voice, and the two very different female characters.

    This is far harder than it looks – and she does it.” These three songs, consisting of ‘Cardigan’, ‘August’ and ‘Betty’ are redolent, says The Secret Critic, of those times. “I think that the pandemic period was an opportunity which she seized in some way. She watched a lot of movies and read a lot of books -and the result was a kind of deepening in her art. I would argue that her best song is ‘Exile’ where there is a depth of feeling about the collaboration with The National which has to do with the odd static urgency of that time. I don’t think we see such depth in her recent collaboration with Post Malone.”

    Swift herself is very interesting about her craft. “Throughout all of the changes that have happened in my life, one of the priorities I’ve had is to never change the way I write songs and the reasons I write songs. I write songs to help me understand life a little more. I write songs to get past things that cause me pain. And I write songs because sometimes life makes more sense to me when it’s being sung in a chorus, and when I can write it in a verse.”

    Love continues to obsess her – relationships are to her, to paraphrase Larkin, what daffodils were to Wordsworth: “I write a lot of songs about love and I think that’s because to me love seems like this huge complicated thing,” she has said. “But it seems like every once in a while, two people get it figured out, two people get it right.

    And so I think the rest of us, we walk around daydreaming about what that might be like. To find that one great love, where all of a sudden everything that seemed to be so complicated, became simple. And everything that used to seem so wrong all of a sudden seemed right because you were with the person who made you feel fearless.”

    But does The Secret Critic see The Tortured Poets Department as a weaker album? “I do think it’s a problem which pop stars face, and it’s to do with musical education. Classical composers tend not to become samey because they just have so many musical resources at their disposal.

    The same just isn’t the case in popular music – even when you look at McCartney who is just this immensely musical guy. Take ‘All Too Well’ as an example. The chord sequence is essentially, C, A minor, F, G – which is broadly the same chord sequence as ‘Let It Be’. But it’s very simple, and the danger is that when you’re writing according to simple structures, you find there are fewer places to go musically.

    As I listen to the latest single ‘Fortnite’ I find myself understanding what The Secret Critic is saying: in ways which are difficult to pinpoint the melody, feels of a piece with Midnights but it lacks the excitement of the inspiration which must have accompanied that album.

    Why is this? “I’m not saying it’s a terrible album. But I do think its weakness has been masked somewhat by the ongoing success of the Eras tour. Why does pop music tend to fall off a little? There are a few reasons. One was described by Stephen Sondheim. He pointed out that after a while, muscle memory means that when a composer approaches their instrument their hands, by habit, gravitate back to the same chords.

    This habitual element to songwriting can be very damaging and create samey work, as I believe it is beginning to do with Swift. John Updike wrote a famous essay called ‘The Writer in Winter’ where he writes of every sentence ‘bumping up against one you wrote 50 years ago’. Updike lived to a fairly decent age, and his prose was rich. Pop tends to stale quicker as the options for creativity appear to be far fewer.”

    But there’s another problem. “The other thing is that pop music is the expression of youth. Now, there are a few exceptions here and there to this – Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen were still breaking ground into their 80s. But they came from folk music which is a more cerebral form. Swift is interesting because in Folklore and Evermore, she has shown that she’s comfortable with this genre so there are places for her to explore as a songwriter. It’s just that both Midnights – and now The Tortured Poets Department – have shown her moving in a more disco beat direction. I don’t think the quality will be sustainable in that line.”

    Angelina Giovani disagrees: “My favourite album is by far the most recent one The Tortured Poets Department. It’s quite a departure from her usual style of writing, but it is an immersive experience that is very emotionally charged. All feelings come through very clearly, whether it’s heartbreak, pain, anger, relief, reassignment or juvenile joy. My favourite song of the album is ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’. I can absolutely see it turned into another short film.”

    The Secret Critic responds: “If you listen to that song, even the melody along the line ‘ever lived’ is too similar to the melody to Bad Blood. There’s no way to avoid the fact that she’s likely going to go into an artistic decline, and that once this tour is over, and all the noise has died down, we might well have seen peak Swift.”

    But the Secret Critic also has fascinating things to say about the scale of the Swift phenomenon. In The Anatomy of Fame he cites what he calls The Peyton Predicament, which references a football commentator and Swiftie called Jared Peyton. Peyton found himself as the Kansas City stadium where Swift’s latest boyfriend Travis Kelce was playing. He decided to go and find her and filmed his quest on Twitter.

     

    2J7C92H Taylor Swift live on stage – The 1989 World Tour Live – 2015

    What followed went briefly viral online. Peyton, using his insider’s knowledge of the geography of the stadium managed to get to the end of a tunnel just as Swift went past. “I was fanboying out!” he said on the video he streamed on Twitter, which in itself earned him a certain fleeting celebrity. “The Peyton Predicament speaks to the huge importance in many people’s lives,” says The Secret Critic. “My book seeks to ask the question: Why does he feel the need to do that? What is it about her and what is it about us that means that it has come to this?”

    It would be easy to be cynical about this and to consider Payton little better than insane to place such emphasis on saying hello to a fellow mortal being. But Dr. Paul Hokemeyer takes a somewhat different view: “At the most primal level of our being, we all need to feel seen and validated by a superior other. This need is hard-wired into our central nervous system. We come out of the womb completely dependent on another human being to feed, love and comfort us. Without this love, we, like the monkeys in the famous Harry Harlow study, will suffer from profound states of emotional despair and poor physical health outcomes.”

    By this reckoning then Payton’s behaviour, far from being a bit mad, is in fact deeply human: “When Taylor Swift not just saw, but also gracefully acknowledged Payton’s presence, his central nervous system lit up like Harrods on Christmas Eve and flooded him with a host of endogenous opioids such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. He was elevated to a state of being, ecstasy actually, that might defy logic, but which is consistent with our basic human need to be validated by a superior other. In the experience, Payton transcended his human frailties and became intoxicated with the elixir of celebrity.”

    In The Anatomy of Fame, The Secret Critic goes into the matter in even greater detail and analyses the constituents of this appeal from the philosophical perspective. “I wanted to write a book where at the beginning we see Payton in one way – but by the end we’re brought round to his way of seeing – or at least to understanding it. If someone said to you: ‘Taylor Swift is over there, you might want to go and see her,’ you’d think one set of thoughts. But if I said: ‘Somebody who embodies beauty, creativity, kindness and power’ is over there, you’d say: ‘Well, you should definitely go and talk to her’. But to Peyton that’s exactly what Swift is.”

    The book therefore breaks down Swift’s appeal looking at her songwriting, her beauty, and above all her morality. The effect is very profound. We see how Swift has effectively straddled the songwriting of the 1960s and written songs which are close to being standards, while also becoming the premier live performer of our time. She exhibits beauty but also vulnerability. But above all she joins power with a matter-of-fact kindness which never feels affected.

    I decide I want to test The Secret Critic’s theory on Angelina Giovanni, who enthuses: “I find it rather impressive that people who work with and for her and don’t seem to have a bad word to say and are always raving about her generosity. Everyone on her team from truck drivers, to back up singers have received life changing bonuses, totalling a whopping $55 million dollars. That’s why I’m rooting for her to be even bigger. I love the fact that it is someone of my generation that has made it so big, so young and is on track to breaking so many musical records previously held by music’s biggest names.”

    Of course, there are limits to her power. As the Netflix film Miss Americana shows, her intervention on an abortion referendum in her home state did nothing to sway the result, and there is a sense too that the way in which politicians, especially the Biden administration, fall over her for her endorsement borders on the absurd.

    But her business skills – or her ‘power moves’ as she refers to her own acumen in the song ‘The Man’ – are both considerable, but also very far from being the main reason for her fame. It is a mark of her uniqueness to think that she came up with the line “I swear to be melodramatic and true to my lover”, but also the brilliant savviness of the Taylor’s Versions project, whereby she wrested back control of her back catalogue taking advantage of the fact that she continued to own the copyright of her songs.

    When it comes to the management of her career, one suspects the influence – perhaps both genetic and direct – of her financially savvy father: Swift used to tell her contemporaries at school that she would be a stockbroker when she grew up.

    But there is no doubt that Swift’s principle achievement is to have created by the power of her music and her example, a change of direction away from selfishness towards kindness. Dylan was always acerbic; the Gallagher brothers were demonstrably offensive and the world is full of rock stars who don’t donate to food banks – and likely never consider it something which they might do.

    Taylor Swift does and it is wonderful that she does. It seems to me as though she is an aspect of something which appears to be happening the world over: a realisation that the values of self-interest which arguably date as far back as the Renaissance are insufficient to live by. We vaguely know this – but sometimes it helps if someone sings about it too.

     

     

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  • Essay: Notes Towards a Meaningful Career – Powerful Reflections

    Notes Towards a Meaningful Career, George Achebe

     

    Lately I have been thinking about something rather fundamental: the meaning of work. This is, after all, something which at Finito we seek to secure for our candidates: a meaningful career. But meaning, after centuries of philosophy, tends to have a somewhat slippery nature. Sometimes we glimpse it more vividly by its absence: ‘Well, that’s just meaningless,” we might confidently assert, implying as we do that there is some realm where meaning might reside. Sometimes, we are lucky enough to receive some clear sense of intuition: “I really must do that,” and it is an interesting question, though outside the scope of this article, as to why these prompts do seem to arrive in human beings.

    All these matter, however, become no less straightforward when we come to consider the question of meaning as it relates to careers. This is not too surprising since work is what we spent such a large part of our lives doing – so much so that the two are hard to separate.

    And yet it is a very common wish: I just want to do something that matters. Similarly when we say: this isn’t for me, what we’re typically pointing towards is the lack of perceived meaning in a particular role from our own perspective. Sometimes, this might be valid: we burn inside to paint a great picture but destiny has cruelly landed us with a data entry job. On the other hand, as we shall see, we must be careful to assign meaningless to a role without first having its explored its possibilities, and what it can teach us.

    Nevertheless, I ask the revered psychologist Dr Paul Hokemeyer what in his clinical experience constitute the most common mistakes when it comes to forging a meaningful career. “Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered one of the biggest mistakes people make regarding career choice motivations comes from the blind pursuit of power, property and prestige,” he tells me. When I ask him for examples he becomes autobiographical.

    “I found this to be the case in my own life when straight out of university, I decided to go to law school and become an attorney in America. While I actually loved the process of studying law, working as an attorney with a big American law firm was not suitable or sustainable for me in the long term. I also find this to be the case with my patients. Decisions made purely for external validation and the promise of riches tend to lead people into jobs and careers that while gratifying in the short run, are unsustainable or cause them to engage in unhealthy coping behaviours in due course.”

    This rings true. Power has, as Rishi Sunak may soon discover, a funny way of evaporating in the hands of the supposed holder: it’s like trying to grip smoke. More generally, there are people one sees, sometimes at the bar at Conference season, who seek power but if it were to be granted them, wouldn’t for an instant know what to do with it in any meaningful way. In fact, when we consider past UK Prime Ministers, the ones we think of as having the most success usually had a relatively developed sense of the potential meaning of them holding that office, and the skills with which to see it through.

    William Pitt the Younger understood that the public finances must always be on a proper footing for Britain’s prestige to remain intact – and he ensured that it was so, with considerable longevity in office as his reward. Churchill in his first term had a very clear mission – to defend the nation from Nazi Germany. But there was less purpose to his second administration other than perhaps to remain in office, and so we tend not to study it for the simple reason that there is less meaning to extract from it.

    And what of the current administration?  When I talk to the Chancellor of the Exchequer Jeremy Hunt about the meaning of the current government and whether he should be going for more attention-grabbing tax cuts, say council tax or stamp duy, he says, referencing his budget earlier in the year: “I chose national insurance because it is the tax cut which is most going to grow the economy. My cuts in National Insurance will mean that 200,000 more people will enter the workforce. There are 900,000 vacancies in the economy so these are the most pro-growth tax cuts you could have.”

     

    25/10/2022. London, United Kingdom,Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has appointed The Rt Hon Jeremy Hunt MP as Chancellor of the Exchequer, Picture by Rory Arnold / No 10 Downing Street

    Hunt implies that meaning within our work is simply to be found in honestly doing our work as well as possible, regardless of how one is perceived. But, of course, he can sometimes seem blithely unaware that his ability to continue to conduct the work beyond the next election is intimately bound up with precisely those external factors which he goes onto disavow: “To the argument that I could have done a tax cut which was a bit more retail, I think the electorate are alert to chancellors to try and bribe them for the election. If I’d done that I don’t think it would have worked.

    The reason people vote Conservative is because they trust us to take the difficult decisions. Sometimes there isn’t a magic bullet and you have to do the hard yards. Making sure we have economic credibility is far more important than trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat.”

    For someone like Hunt, the meaning in his work is to be found in carrying out his position responsibly, and I respect his desire to operate according to this sort of internal gauge of what is right. But what of the other potentially false motivation Hokemeyer points to: money. The Finito mentor Sophia Petrides agrees with Hokemeyer that this is a potentially dangerous motivation for a career:  “Pursuing a career path primarily for financial gain can lead to dissatisfaction if the individual does not have a genuine interest or passion for the work.

    Additionally, high-paying jobs often come with long hours, intense competition, and high levels of stress, which can negatively impact our physical and mental state.” But for Petrides, prestige and status are also potentially dangerous metrics by which to choose a path in life. “Some individuals are attracted to careers associated with high social status or prestige, such as becoming a doctor, lawyer, or CEO,” she continues. “While these professions often garner admiration and respect from others, pursuing them solely for their prestige can lead to dissatisfaction if the work itself is unfulfilling.

    Over time, this lack of gratification can result in boredom and loss of motivation, which can be detrimental to one’s performance and success in the business world. Additionally, the pressure to maintain a certain status can contribute to stress and burnout, impacting both mental and physical well-being.”

    Of course it is possible to make a lot of money, and then around that achievement to create permanent structures with which to be useful and kind, as many of our bursary donors at Finito have done. Furthermore, it may be that one is actually constructed to take an interest in economics or the markets. Warren Buffet is, for instance, someone who plainly has a fascination with the orchestral nature of markets – an orchestra which at his best he obviously found some inner meaning in conducting.

    But it must be said that the world isn’t exactly stocked with passionate bankers. There aren’t many that I’ve met who fit the caricature of the Dickensian villain; more generally the danger is that certain high-flying types, who have placed money at the centre of their being, exhibit a certain thinness. They are what TS Eliot, a banker himself, called ‘the hollow men, the stuffed men’.

    There are other mistakes which people make when it comes to finding meaningful work. Hokemeyer pinpoints another: “Another mistake is when people make career choices based on what other people, especially parents, think they should do with their lives. Typically, these parents are well meaning. They want their children to be financially secure and hold prestigious jobs. Sometimes, however, parents are more motivated by their own self-interest or narcissistic personalities. They have created a legacy business they want to see continued, or they find ego gratification from the external successes of their children.”

     

    Finito mentor Sophia Petrides

    Sophia Petrides agrees: “Choosing a career path based on the expectations of others rather than your own interests, while this may initially provide a sense of approval, validation, and belonging, it can lead to resentment and unhappiness if the individual feels trapped in a career that doesn’t align with their true authentic values and interests.”

    We all know the trope: the unhappy banker whose father was a happy banker. In such instances – especially common among the children of the successful – what appears to happen is that a person lacks confidence to feel that meaning might be personal to them, and not somehow an aspect of one’s identity as a family member. It can amount to a crisis of confidence at the level of the soul, and is greatly to be discouraged. Whole lives have been wasted this way. Philip Larkin wrote that it can take a lifetime to climb free of your wrong beginnings.

    Allied to this, again according to Petrides, might be another major reason for pursuing the wrong line of work: fear of failure. “When we live our lives in fear of failure and uncertainty, it can lead to avoiding risks and challenges in our careers, limiting opportunities for growth and advancement,” she tells me. “We may stop being creative and innovative, which hinders our ability to solve problems effectively. This complacency can lead to procrastination and a feeling of being stuck in our careers. In the long-term, this can result in stress, anxiety, and burnout, which have disastrous outcomes for our physical and mental health.”

    This fear of failure is almost always allied to seeking approval from a false source. Petrides argues that external validation isn’t something which we should permit to be in the equation when it comes to carving out our path in life. “Seeking external validation or approval through one’s career choices, such as wanting to impress others or prove oneself, can lead to a lack of authenticity and personal fulfilment. Relying on external validation for one’s sense of worth can make it difficult to find genuine satisfaction and purpose in the chosen career path.”

    Meaning therefore needs to begin with an inward assessment. For some people, the answer as to what really constitutes meaning for oneself will be quite obvious: I simply need to paint, or be a lawyer, or play the harp. Such people are in receipt of very clear instructions, and then it becomes a question of how to do it and this will involve study, and perhaps some form of networking. None of this is to be underestimated in today’s interconnected and highly competitive world, but the task is certainly made a lot easier when an individual is certain what they want to do.

    With this in mind, I ask Hokemeyer about the healthy motivations people assign to their careers and why some people are simply better at strategizing their lives than others? His reply is extremely interesting: “People who are successful at strategizing their careers are good at knowing what motivates them and what will hold their interest over the course of say 50 years.

    They are also able to balance this self-awareness whilst being practical about the costs of living life and putting together an investment portfolio that can sustain them if and when they want to step back from work. It’s a melange of passion and practicality. They find something they are passionate about that they can grow into a solid commercial endeavour over time. They don’t pretend that money doesn’t matter. They get paid to do the work rather than doing the work to get paid.”

    It is common to find artists particularly falling on the wrong side of this wager – they love their work but precisely because of that they somehow keep getting snookered into working for very little. It is quite common for the knowledge that one is working in an exploitative situation to chip away over time at what was once a precious inner meaning. One thinks of the musician who felt a certain fire within looking with vexation at their household bills while each Spotify play earns them around 10p in royalties. A lofty and dismissive approach to healthy finances will ultimately injure one’s sense of meaning, since the energy one needs to enact meaning will likely disappear in stress.

    Yet many fail to do this, and lots of people in fact live out their entire lives with a very limited sense of what they might have been capable of. Somehow the moment of internal reckoning is put off, and put off, until it never comes. Either a mediocre occupation is arrived at, and stuck with for financial reasons. Sometimes because of a certain unaddressed internal fear, no move is seriously made at all throughout one’s existence.

    A wealthy child may, for instance, live off their parents’ wealth, depleting that wealth in the process for future generations. Alternatively, someone may choose to live off the state. Unsure as to what move to make, they end up making none whatsoever. This is tragic because ultimately one has failed to be of use to society, and more broadly, to the universe.

    I ask Hokemeyer why it is that we often fail to examine our core reasons for doing even quite major things, such as what career path to take? Is it that we’re in some fundamental sense asleep and need to wake up? He replies: “Human beings are herd animals. This explains why large numbers of people blindly act in the same way at the same time, following others and imitating group behaviours rather than making their own autonomous decisions.  Right now there is a trend for young university students to want to major in computer science.

    This, even when they are best suited to more romantic interests such as philosophy and art history. When asked why they stay in a major that gives them no joy, these young adults will say that they want to make a ‘ton of money’ and be the next Steve Jobs. Based on this, they struggle in a hyper competitive major and waste the precious opportunity to study something in which they can excel and that will bring them joy throughout their entire lives.”

    This opportunity for joy is precious – and for many it is an all-too brief window.  It is a reminder that we must go to considerable lengths to make our own autonomous decisions and to really ask ourselves if we are acting out of the right values, and whether we are actioning our best selves.

    Tracey Jones is an advocate of mind management and she tells me that she feels the thing which we miss in our society today is ‘introspective reflection’. So what is this? “It refers to the process of looking inward, examining one’s own thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a deep, contemplative, non-judgmental manner. It involves self-examination and self-awareness, whereby individuals reflect on their values, beliefs, goals, and actions to gain insight into themselves and their lives.”

    Jones’ business, called Tracy Jones Life, is wide-ranging and is all about imbuing lives with meaning: “Navigating complexities of introspective reflection is the main part of my work, where individuals can often reach a tipping point of burnout, and struggle with diverse life transitions. Whether stemming from work-related challenges, media exposure, financial changes, selling a business, or transitioning from a specific career. Providing support during these critical moments brings me a profound sense of harmony as I impart knowledge and wisdom, empowering individuals to introspect, realign, reassess, and ultimately progress equipped with a stronger toolkit.”

    For Jones the benefits of this approach are many: “Understanding the mind in this way can indeed contribute to creating a stronger and more cohesive society and it can help individuals navigate conflicts more effectively. By understanding cognitive biases, emotional triggers, and communication patterns, people can approach disagreements with greater understanding and seek constructive solutions.”

    However, in a complex and vast system like human civilisation today, it is impossible that everybody ends up in their so-called dream job. However, for such people, there is a sort of second chance if you read a fascinating little book by a remarkable philosopher called Dr Wilson Van Dusen.

    Van Dusen has a completely different perspective. He regards human beings not so much as herd animals but as beings implicated in a broad and far-reaching pattern – and knowledge of this pattern can be activated at the level of the individual with tremendous results. He would, like most people, wish for people to be fulfilled in their work, but he points out that it is possible to maximise the meaningfulness – or as he would say the usefulness –  of every station in life. He gives, for instance, the following example:

    Two men own and operate a clothing store. Outwardly they do the same thing, sell men’s clothes. Look closer. One quickly sizes up the customer’s wants. The customer likes this color, that style. Let’s see — perhaps this is what he wants? Everyone is different, and the salesman enjoys finding and serving these differences. He is pleased to see the clothes he sold appearing here and there around town. The other clothing salesman pushes this or that, touts it as a bargain. The profit-making sale is his end, not the customer’s needs. He serves only himself. The first salesman serves himself and the other person. It is a mutual benefit.

    So the question of whether each clothing store owner really wants to be a clothing store owner isn’t paramount for Van Dusen. Their core motivation may perhaps have a bearing on their attitude to the role but the point is that once in a role you can choose to see its value or not – and choose also whether to maximise your usefulness within that position.

    Great rewards attend anybody who takes on a new role, and looks around and tries to fill it with as much creativity, empathy and other positive states as possible. Many people may read Van Dusen’s book and think: “Well, I wouldn’t mind being a clothes store owner – that’s a much better job than mine, and I don’t see how I can make the best of it.” But Van Dusen has pre-empted this response with the following example:

    I am reminded of the Zen monk whose job it was to clean toilets in a monastery. The whole purpose of life in the monastery is the enlightenment that is a seeing into God and All There Is. How does this jibe with cleaning toilets? Fortunately, he used his menial task as The Way at hand for him. At first in the cleaning he was taught much of cleaning so that he probably produced some of the cleanest toilets of all time. He was also shown much of his own nature and faults.

    Then he began seeing general principles in his work. Finally, after all this step-by-step preparation, he found the One, the design of all creation. God came forth and cleaned through his hands. His wisdom became apparent and he was elected abbot of the monastery. But he loved The Way that had opened for him, so he continued to clean the toilets.

    This might seem far-fetched, but I can attest it is certainly worth a try. You might perhaps have been putting off paring back the lavender for the past few weeks. A plant that really ought to be providing pollen for bees, and therefore, by the success of bees, improving the diet of certain bird species and so and so forth up the food chain has, under your dubious watch, ceased to do that.

    It starts to annoy you and you don’t like the feeling so you do nothing. You also might tell yourself you’re busy and don’t have the time. But what if, one day, you make the time and prune the lavender? You might be a bit surprised at how that goes. Suddenly the feeling of guilt has gone away. In a month or so, you will see bees in your garden. And Van Dusen’s point is that all jobs are crying out for use in this way.

    Interestingly, Jones also took a visit to Nepal in 2023, and there watched Buddhist monks engage in ‘Monastic Debate’. She was struck by the atmosphere at the monastery: “Monks present and defend their viewpoints, challenge each other’s assertions, ask probing questions, and engage in critical analysis. The atmosphere is one of mutual respect, seeking truth, clarifying concepts, and sharpening one’s own understanding.”

    Jones drew the following lesson: “The practice of debate also encourages active listening, empathy, and understanding of differing viewpoints. By engaging in respectful dialogue and considering diverse perspectives, monks cultivate compassion, tolerance, and open-mindedness, which are essential qualities for building strong relationships. Whilst I would watch these debates, it made me highly aware that we could learn so much from these ancient traditions.”

    She’s certainly right about that and it all amounts for a new place to look for meaning – not in some external placement or vacancy but in a place you can actually control: yourself.

    This understanding of uses, based perhaps around the sort of cultivation of compassion which Jones describes, ought to form part of any mentoring relationship. We ought to not think about we might become more successful, wealthier, and people of greater prestige: we ought to consider how we might be of use. Sophia Petrides has direct experience of this in her mentoring: “A mentoring relationship can be a powerful journey of shared exploration. Instead of solely guiding, a coach/mentor acts as a sounding board and a partner in discovery.

    We embark together on a quest to understand the client’s values, passions, and aspirations. Through open conversations, we challenge each other’s perspectives and assumptions. The client might question my experiences, prompting me to re-examine my own approach. This constant exchange fosters deeper self-awareness for both of us.”

    So it’s a collaborative searching for meaning. “Yes, and it goes beyond goal setting. It’s about uncovering the “why” behind those goals. The client’s journey of fulfilment becomes a mirror reflecting my own purpose as a mentor. As their understanding of their place in the world unfolds, it inspires me to re-evaluate my own guiding principles. In essence, the mentoring relationship becomes a transformative experience, enriching lives.”

     

     

  • An Interview with revered clinical psychotherapist Dr. Paul Hokemeyer about Get Back and workplace toxicity

    Finito World interviews Dr. Paul Hokemeyer about the Beatles film ‘Get Back’ as a study in workplace toxicity

     

    Psychologically speaking, how do toxic work situations arise and why is it that we find them so difficult to deal with?

     

    Toxic work situations mirror toxic family of origin situations. In them, we and our colleagues consciously and unconsciously play out unresolved patterns from our primary developmental relationships. In my work, I’ve seen this is particularly true in creative industries where there are fewer organizational boundaries to keep people operating with a modicum of decorum. Toxic work relationships arise because people feel threatened. They feel they are not getting what they need to feel safe and secure in the organization. The best way to look at this is through the lens of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In this lens, people can only be their highest and best self and produce their best work when their physical and emotional needs are satiated and they operate in a culture of psychological safety.

     

    We struggle to productively deal with toxic work relationships because they affect us on the most primal level of our being. In them, we are constantly feeling the whole of our being is under attack. In this state of being, our limbic system goes on overdrive. It keeps us in a state of hypervigilance and stress. Our central nervous system floods us with stress hormones such as Cortisol and causes our prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain that rules our rational behaviours and enables us to make smart strategic decisions, to go offline. Many times we can see these toxic patterns clearly, but because our neurophysiology is operating through a place of stress and danger, we are paralyzed from making rational decisions and taking reparative actions to change things.

     

    In Get Back, Paul McCartney emerges as a boss figure. He seems in some way a micromanager, particularly of George Harrison. How should we deal with micromanagers and ensure we retain our equilibrium in these situations?

     

    One of the defining features of anxiety disorders is a compulsive need to control what feels out of control. Micromanagers are operating from a place of heightened anxiety. Once we understand the etiology of their behaviours we can create a plan to address them. The best way to do this is to focus first on self and second on the other. Become conscious of what your manager fears most. Look for her triggers. Everyone has hot buttons that send them into states of emotional reactivity. Once you’ve identified these patterns in your manager, consciously strive to go above and beyond in your efforts in these areas. Also, address these issues directly with your manager. Ask her straight out what you can do to improve your service to her and the organization in these areas. The mere fact that you evidence awareness of her triggers and are diligently and intentionally striving to improve in these areas will go far in reducing her anxiety and enable her to put her focus on someone or something else.

     

    To be fair to McCartney he is partly in a position of authority due to a greater talent – his ability to play more instruments than the others for instance means that he invades their space more. How should CEOs and managers deal with extremely gifted individuals to ensure that they don’t alter the balance of a workplace setting?

     

    The construct of psychological safety is every bit as relevant in creative families as it is in traditional organizations. Through it, people feel safe to fail and have a voice that’s outside the norm. Studies show that a culture rich in psychological safety produces exceptionally innovative work and is made up of happy, healthy employees. Managers who are working with extremely gifted employees will be well served to look at the foundations of the construct. At its core, a culture of psychological safety ensures that people will not be humiliated or punished for challenging the cultural norm or speaking up against authority. It requires managers to have healthy egos and to have a mechanism for managing their own issues of narcissism, insecurity and self esteem.

     

    Contrastingly, Ringo Starr in the film seems to carry himself extremely well, and maintain excellent relationships with all people, even in an increasingly toxic situation. How is he able to do this and what might we learn from him?

     

    As in most challenging situations, successful resolution comes not from investing your principal energy in changing the system but rather on focusing on how you can change your reaction to the toxicity that exists in the system in which you are operating. In short, this means coming up with healthy ways to manage the toxicity that surrounds you.  The first step in this process is to accept the reality of the situation. Toxic work environments exist. Yes, you might be able to change them but the probability of changing major systems can be quite low and the return on your risk in trying to change them low.   Instead focus, like Ringo Starr focused, on that in which there is a high probability of success and a high return on investment. As we see in the film, Ringo had the most balanced life. He had a rich and rewarding personal life and invested his human and relational capital through a diverse intrapersonal and interpersonal portfolio. He manifested resilience, which is the capacity to make meaning from setbacks and grit which is the capacity to tolerate short term discomfort for a long term gain.